—–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—–
Version: 3.1
GCS/LS d- s+: a— C++++ ULS*>++++ P+ L++>++++$ E>$ W++>+++$ N o+ K+++ w— O++ M V– PS PE>– Y+ PGP t+ 5 X+ R+ tv+++ b++>+++ DI+ D+++>$ G++ e>++++ h- !r y–
——END GEEK CODE BLOCK——
{
IF you love someone
THEN set her free
ENDIF
DO UNTIL she comes back
wait
ENDDO
}
How To Install Love
Customer Service (CS) Rep.: Yes, Ma'am, how may I help
you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided
to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the
process?
CS Rep.: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to
proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep.: The first step is to open your HEART. Have
you located your HEART, Ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other
programs running right now. Is it okay to install
while they are running?
CS Rep.: What programs are running, Ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW
ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running
right now.
CS Rep.: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase
PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It
may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to
completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off, Ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you
tell me how?
CS Rep.: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary
until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely
erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing
itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep.: Yes. You should receive a message that says
it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you
see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep.: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS
in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What
should I do?
CS Rep. : What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON
INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?
CS Rep.: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on
external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your
HEART. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in nontechnical terms, it means you have
to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE"
others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep.: Can you pull down the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep.: Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep.: You're welcome. Click on the following files
and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and
ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite
any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF
CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
and permanently gone and erased.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new
files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now
and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
CS Rep.: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but
eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper
time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be
able to handle it from here. One more thing before I
go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep.: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its
various modules to everybody you meet. They will share
it with other people and then return some similarly
sacred modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way,
what's your name?
CS Rep.: You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also
known as The Great Physician, but most call me God.
Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to
stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a
schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
Put another way, keep in touch.
