The Armorer’s Scroll

Entries from March 2005

Yesterday..

March 29, 2005 · 2 Comments

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she had to go I don’t know she woldn’t say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

…yesterday was a very happy but terrible day..

..i forgot to ask her number (or shouldn’t i?)
..i forgot to get the results of my last Math exam

..and i will.. forget yesterday.

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Geektalk II

March 26, 2005 · Leave a Comment

During the past days, I was just recovering from the toxifying events by sleeping, eating, watching tv without even worrying about the coming finals, exams, INCs, presentations, enlistment for summer and even for the first sem! Well.. at those times, I tried OpenOffice 2.0 Base and it was running good except that it was only a beta that make it some kind of buggy or still error-prone. But at least, I knew how that program works and it is indeed simple to use it than to make hard codes of databases. For a hard-code programmer like me, automating such kinds of programs sometimes make it more hassle because of the predefined or default settings and sometimes one can’t configure entirely the whole system which obviously is a drawback. And this was one of the reasons why i hate WYSIWYG stuffs without really knowing how every part of it works.

And then, I compiled Apache server again without getting the .rpms available in the Yum repositories and i started from source codes. I should have finished setting those libraries so that I can continue the old stuff I worked on last first sem which is Linux-Apache-PostgreSQL-PHP (LAPP) or if MySQL is the database, it is called Linux-Apache-MySQL-PHP (LAMP). I had tried running BeatriX and Simply MEPIS in the ILS library and both run smooth! I also burned PHLAK and The OpenCD – contains Free and Open Source Software in .exe formats (obviously, it was designed for Wind0ze). The Battle for Wesnoth game was amazing; it is just 80+ MB and it runs great on Wind0ze and Linux (I tested it on both Linux and Wind0ze (unfortunately)).

And I will gonna recommend The Open CD to my friends so that they would know that there were indeed a lot of free and open source softwares out there and those were gonna cost them $ 0.

Right now, I had also changed my monitor to a 17″ but maybe in a matter of months only.

Well this half-week vacation was a very satisfying one.. except for the worries on the coming finals.. especially this coming Monday. Damn.

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Quagmire!

March 20, 2005 · Leave a Comment

Sneakpeeks from my crammed English 12 exams. ha-ha.

Situation 1: The first choice is to clone men and return them to the population (with the risk of returning as well the patriarchal systems created by men). The second choice is to clone male sperm for the purposes of artificial insemination, thus ensuring the extinction of the male gender (all the new babies born will be female).

If Virginia Woolf has a choice in this situation, I believe that she will not hesitate in choosing the second choice which is to clone male sperm for the purposes of artificial insemination that will ensure the extinction of the male gender. She will finally have the dream that women are only weak because of the patriarchal system that had existed before and now it is gone. She will be glad to proclaim throughout the universe that she was really right all the time. Since the extinction of the male gender will be guaranteed through selective cloning, Woolf makes most of her theories to be true just like what she said that “women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size�. In this way, if ever there was a chance of experimenting for the production of a man, Woolf can easily change his ways by teaching him to be feminist too and to completely leave his manhood or patriarchal ways because of the lack of examples for that man to follow to. Woolf will also say that women are indeed more intellectual because they found themselves to be safe from the plague and the men had no chances of surviving the plague for they do not know how to avoid or protect themselves against it. Thus, Woolf lifts up the hierarchical status of women and finds every woman “a room of her own� by changing or reversing the patriarchal system and starting all over again with a different system of her own.

Situation 2: Choices: Pass the student or fail the student.

If Sindbad is going to be the instructor in this situation, it is very likely that he passes the student for he believes based from the challenges he had gone through, that this is the chance of the student to rise up and be even more successful as any highly-paid employee despite of the failed exams and excessive cuts. Sindbad believes that every living human can make his or her own luck and avoid dependency on everything and even everyone for the world is controlled by Fortune. Assuming that Sindbad sees the student as a hardworking scholar who tries everything possible to uplift her status and her family’s situation, Sindbad expects that the student will be successful in the future. Just like what Sindbad’s experiences are somewhat in a repetitive manner and even become worst, he manages to lift himself up from the poverty he has gone through after spending his father’s inheritance before his first voyage. In each of his voyages he practices the value of hope to rise up despite of the problems he encounters just like the cyclical instances of being shipwrecked. “The same kind Providence that had befriended Sindbad on his first voyage is in his service every time in the same guise.â€? At this situation, Sindbad considers himself to be the student’s Providence after eliminating some of the student’s academic problems. After all, Sindbad has never been able to resist the pleadings of a woman just like the scene in which he slew a weeping woman wailing for her dead husband and for herself. It is also probable that Sindbad will think of his student as another “Sindbadâ€? because she has ’survived by the wit of her mind and the work of her hands’. She uses her wit in asking Sindbad for consideration on her grades and is able to do it since Sindbad cannot resist the pleadings of a woman. The work of her hands is seen in the effort she made by begging to her instructor. Lastly, Sindbad knows that her student has a strong faith of graduating on time and getting a high-paying job in the future as compared to his experiences of having a strong faith to Allah.

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The Inferno!!!

March 19, 2005 · 2 Comments

The Armorer’s HellForge of Inferno

“Before the beginning, after the great war between heaven and hell,
God created the earth and gave dominion over it to the crafty ape he called man..
And to each generation was born a creature of life and a creature of darkness..
and great armies clashed by night in the ancient war between good and evil..
There was magic then, nobility, and unimaginable cruelty..
So it was, until the day that a false sun exploded over trinity
and man forever traded away wonder for reason.�

These were the words that trembled my mind
as I bade my friend Juliette a farewell for that night.
Then I found myself in a dream– in the middle of an uninhabited place;
it was a time when hope was still high and life worth living. 4

As I inched my way over the vast, endless desert,
I heard a familiar voice constantly whispering through the wilderness.
Hearing the choppy and monotonous tone, I finally attained Point Pleasant;
Only in that time when I realized that I was not alone in this imaginary world. 8

In our life, there were numerous exceptions– virtual fantasy becomes reality;
from where I stood, I felt the presence of the power of unlimited freedom in my hands.
Everything imaginable seemed to be permissible; no one is there to judge morality.
I therefore concluded that the place where I was– the Inferno I had once imagined. 12

I started to explore and went for the nearest city I could find-
a town with a very unusual environment; it was flooded by traffic signs everywhere.
As i sneaked my way through the scenery, I noticed “No Left/Right turn� signs
that made the entire town a hopeless place for development. 16

The rules made by the mayor of the city were clear;
it was very transparent that the citizens’ eyes did not noticed the flaws behind it.
Their eyes were forever frozen with pink irises, everything they saw was pink-
from engines to waiting sheds, it made the city’s situation very miserable. 20

Disappointed on the life in the highways, I decided to search for greener pastures;
I was shocked and curious to see a church while it is having a special event.
It was a funeral of an old popular actor, a King,
everyone regarded him as a leader and the recent one as their President. 24

I followed the long lines of the crowd towards the inside of the tabernacle,
the place that was supposed to be a house of prayer turned into a marketplace.
The temple was close enough to a pack of sardines- the building was very populated
and the effects were obvious- all forms of trash and vandalism were scattered everywhere. 28

Feeling dizzy, I raced to the door to breathe for fresh air,
not able to withstand the condition of the happenings inside,
I could not forget how the people look to be misinformed and brainwashed-
everything seemed to be normal for them, but not until the event was over. 32

As soon as the funeral concluded, the people’s lives were worsened-
each was forced to clean the garbage around the temple.
The cleaning was good in itself but everything backfired earlier:
all of them suffered leprosy in the process. 36

Phew! Could I had spent more time inside the church,
I might had been a piece of garbage too, and worst, to die as the bacteria consumes me up.
And the church that was supposed to be a house of worship,
turned out to be a house of plagues and the source of terror and chaos. 40

Continuing with my journey, I followed with more curiosity than ever,
a pathway of tiles leading to another establishment,
it looked more like a secular school to me-
an academe with its foundations and designs just like the church beside it. 44

At last, a person approached me from inside the academe-
one that looked like a mad scientist asked me:
“Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?â€?; I answered, “I don’t knowâ€?.
And then he left me like I was such a freak- the ones usually bullied in colleges. 48

One thing I could recall from that scientist-like man,
stitches were around his forehead- just like the ones seen on Frankenstein,
hands were tired from hard work, eyes were bulging with eye bags,
and his body looked exhausted; he was like me except for the stitches on the head. 52

Soon after the mad scientist had left, I came across the academe’s athletic field,
a wide open field covered with lahar instead of green grasses.
It was more than enough for the field to create a huge tornado which is very usual in open areas-
one that could cause blindness and severe asthma to the entire community of the academe. 56

I decided to trace the mad scientist’s way through the corridors,
classrooms were empty and even the canteen was out of customers,
and as I made a turn in one of the corridors,
I came across the noisiest, perhaps the most populated area of the academe- the library. 60

I was right at concluding it was the most crowded place of the academe,
the foulest smell I had ever encountered circulated the place,
I was astonished to see everyone in the library were holding a book
and all eyes were straight down to what they were reading- perhaps a required long reading. 64

Finally, I discovered the source of the foul smell
that haunted me from the moment I met the mad scientist.
The stench came from the foreheads containing the stitches-
those were like fluids that came out from the brain. 68

The greediness of the whole academe- students, teachers and scientists-
hunger for knowledge and wisdom- the probable cause of the Original Sin.
It made their brains to grow abnormally large
which the stitches control on their foreheads. 72

Terrified on what I had watched, I left the academe as quick as I could,
I came across an Internet cafe which offers online gaming.
I chose to play the famous game of all time
and I was surprised to see the specifications of the game. 76

As the list of characters popped up, I noticed something weird,
familiar faces, hairstyles, and body were all over the options.
My friends that were addicted to playing Ragnarok, turned out to be puppets of the entire game-
they got the chance to play it in real life, but of course, there would be a point of no return. 80

There was a waste of money, but indeed that was much better
than consuming it for academic institutions and get themselves tired of studying.
Sleep was still in a gamer’s vocabulary unlike for the students of the academe;
Eating was also part of former’s habit just like the usual cases in a computer game. 84
As soon as I had finished a level of the computer game, the machine froze.
It was only that time I realized I had just used a tool of the virtual devil.
Unfortunately, I had been tempted and used too but as long as I have faith,
I know my way back to goodness- I still have a choice to make. 88

“Gates� of Hell – the virtual devil, might have failed through me,
but he had actually succeeded earlier, in a lot of ways far more than imaginable;
He had built and conquered more than thousands of corporations
and had captured the minds of the people everywhere. 92

Upon learning that I had survived Gates’ hypnotism and core strategies,
it was also the time I clearly heard the voice that was humming from the wilderness,
in a monotonous voice, Juliette echoed: “You had experienced the BSOD. Terminated.�,
and I woke up learning that all of it was just a simple dream of my Inferno- I returned to sleep. 96

And again I had a dream that my life would be
so much different from the Hell I had seen
so different now from what it seemed
but life has killed the dream I dreamed. 100

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Severe Trauma..

March 18, 2005 · Leave a Comment

“Halika na.. pumikit limutin ang problema…Hihintayin ang umaga
Magpahinga, panaginip ang ikaliligaya…Darating din ang umaga..”

Stupid me. I just can’t imagine or maybe I really don’t wanna see the sad face of a friend.. Felt so ashamed i had just roamed the perimeter and didn’t actually showed myself.. Or was it because of the fear of being feared? the attack of conscience? Right now, my eyes were somehow watery, but I had never wept with real teardrops since my grade school days.. is there a need to shed tears just to show people they care? Happy are they who shed tears, for they think that every feeling of bitterness and sadness go away in permanence, never to return again. And happy are they who never shed tears, just kept on smiling.. trying to cheer up the sad faces of his friends even though deep inside his heart, the feeling is worse.. and I am one of the latter.. looks very emotionless and still, but deep inside is like a stormy weather.

*sigh*

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I feel the earth move on top of my head…

March 16, 2005 · Leave a Comment

Phew! At last, MP2 was finished (but not entirely).. i waz just hopin for a miracle to happen to get things to work until the very last day of this Pre-Hell Week.. there’s still an INC to accomplish at UPM (i wonder if there’ll still be time left to go to Manila) Tick-tock..

Things to do? Here it goes:

  • MATH 54 – i have a take home problem set which is a part of my last long exam this coming Friday. Too bad i forgot to grab a bluebook for it.. I’m hopin that I’ll have one in a matter of hours.. without going to UP.
  • CS12 MP1 – i wonder if i still need to finish this.. kinda pointless
  • LIS 71 – a final paper.. looks/sounds simple but it’s hard to think of topics.. especially the ones i’m not interested to.. PLUS a final exam (some sort of game or whatever)
  • LIS 61 – nothing? except for the coming finals which includes memorizing some weird stuffs.. and I can’t see the point about storing those data into my brain..
  • ENG 12 – got some readings and a take home exam that will be given to us tomorrow to be passed the next day.. crappy deadline. But at least, i already have copies of most (AFAIK) of the readings listed in its course outline.

So.. these are the earths movin on top of my head.. I can’t even think of extra-curricular stuffs (like parties, filmviewings [ although I could do it while munching right in front of my PC ]…

Anyway.. good luck to myself and to everyone..

Hope in finishing everything.. GOD-SPEED powered by the Art of Cramming.

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Toxicity II

March 4, 2005 · Leave a Comment

Oh well.. as usual, summer was fast approaching again and Holy Week as well.. During the last two weeks, i felt that my life was miserable. I couldn’t even believe that I had written my last sentence of the Inferno thirty minutes before the deadline. I was even on time when I got on the half-filled room.. just as usual that students intentionally don’t come to class to have an excuse for the late submission of the project. I just hope that my mentor will see me through the poem I had created – it really reflected the academic life I had this second sem. It seemed that everything was messed up – from deleting working Machine Problems, numerous deadlines, some sort of difficult exams, lack of sleep.. or should I say no sleep at all? I just couldn’t imagine or even estimate what my chances of having a GWA of 1.XXX .. even though I only had 17 units. This week was awesome but absolutely very tiring indeed. I lost on the very first programming competition in UP and it was a java programming competition for CS12 freshman students. I was included on the team even though I wasn’t really a freshie or even a comsci student. But who cares? I felt that I am still rebuilding on my programming skills again because of a semester or two in which I barely make programs or even practice simple C programs..

Oh well.. at least, my mind was exposed to the reality or existence of hardwork… I really felt that I had exhausted every part of my brain and my whole body.. Eye bags were forming unlike the times when I used to sleep very late and there wouldn’t be an evidence implicating it the next day I show up to people.

But obviously, there were times that somehow made some of my loneliness to cheer up.. While I and my classmates walked out after realizing that our professor would be late, I roamed over the hallways of that building until I finally made my way heading for the building of my next class. I didn’t noticed that I’ll be encountering “my past” in the road I chose. As I passed over the people jogging in a some sort of line or sequence, I was really confused.. not all smiles were supposed to be the smile that people used to show happiness.. After that scenery, I couldn’t remember how I felt like I had an LSS working on me.. singing “Wherever You Will Go” .. and it really made people to look at the one humming or something like whispering its lyrics.. blablabla.. and I just continued as if nothing had really happened..

I wish that there would still be a time where time can expand over time. But it isn’t, knowing the truth hurts. And again, there was another instance of a “sawsaw” in one of my classes.. but at least, he’d be deserving what he really deserves.

I hate 2nd sems. There’s nothing we can do to change it. Shit happens.

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